Now We Are Four!

KW joined us on November 10, 2010. Thanks for following our journey as a family!

Monday, June 6, 2011

The Overflow

I have been thinking a lot about my heart lately. The topic came up in a study our small group was working through about marriage. But I was immediately convicted about my attitude as the mom of a toddler boy. These could be the most demanding work days I have had since 2007. I should have been thinking a lot more about my heart back then, instead of how God could get me out of my current situation. Because I don't want out of this situation - how can I when I love this little boy so much? But if I had thought a little more about it back then, I may have solved some of these heart issues before I entered into an incredibly challenging season of parenting.

How quickly I can snap if I am interrupted in my morning shower. If brother wakes up sister and she is screaming before I am dressed. If he is engaging in unusually boisterous play. How lazy I can be when it is hot outside. When I haven't slept four straight hours in who knows how long. When I have another project I wish I could be working on.

"Out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks." Luke 6:45

What needs to be inside, coming out? Patience, loving energy, peace. I pray daily for these to grow in my heart in ways they never have before. In ways I have never needed for them to be there before.

We sang a song I love a few weeks ago at church. It is not about the heart. In fact, the topics it brings to my mind are enough for an entirely different post. But the bridge always convicts and brings tears:

"Heal my heart and make it clean
Open up my eyes to the things unseen
Show me how to love like You have loved me
Break my heart for what breaks Yours
Everything I am for your Kingdom's cause
As I walk from earth into eternity.

Hosanna in the highest."
(Hillsong United)

God save us.


The Butler Family said...

I absolutely love your post! I have the same feelings/ problem right now myself. I always said to myself when I was working that I would be SO engaged and doing "this and that" with Reese if I were at home with him and now that I am home, it's like there are never enough hours in the day. And most days I'm so lost in emotions and disciplining I feel like I am not the "at home mom" I desire to be. So thankful for our faithful and loving Father's grace, love and strength that he gives us to continuously each morning because without it I WOULD lose my mind. :)

Melodye said...

Love love love love love this post, Amelia. Have you read One Thousand Gifts yet? If not...look into it - author is Ann Voskamp. Many of the same thoughts as your post here.